When I said yes to marry my husband little over a year ago, I said yes to a new life, a new beginning and a future with him by my side. But more importantly I said yes to be his forever and ever, on good times and in bad, no matter what happens.
Every relationship has it’s up’s and downs and no surprise there,so does ours.
Our relationship started out as most others, we were madly in love and spent every second possible together. We couldn’t get our eyes, hands or lips of each other.
On the other hand we live in The Faroe Islands, nothing bad about that, but the people here tend to have a whole lot of headache about other peoples business. So it became clear to us fairly soon that not everyone shared our joy and happiness. We got told that we where TO in love, not normal, fake, rubbing our happiness in other peoples faces, that I had stolen John from his family and you name it. Although I was chocked and extremely hurt that people would act that way, I still loved John and didn’t want to end our relationship, though sometimes I was tempted.
For a while this affected us a whole lot and changed our relationship forever. We didn’t really show our affection in public anymore, even at home our showing of affection became less.
But we are still together and somehow we managed to come out of our down period and back on the horse.
We decided to take matter into our own hands and don’t give a s*** about other peoples opinion. No one else can tell us how to behave around each other, when we can hold hands, sit next to each other, kiss, compliment, be in love, smile, cuddle or anything for that matter.
If they want to make it their headache, be my guest, I really don’t care anymore. People who spend their days gossiping, spreading roomers,being annoyed and depressed about other peoples happiness must have to much time on their hands or something, right?
Back on topic!
I believe that the beginning of me becoming a better wife to my husband started there already. When I started to focus on him and us, instead of worrying about other peoples opinion on us. It helped a whole lot on our relationship and made us go slowly back to what we used to be. Maybe we are just suppose to be together and that’s why we are so affectionate, even after four years.
I know that my husband loves affection and being touched, even just holding hands in the car can make his day, so being a good wife means tending to his needs. Loving him for who he is and helping him stay the person he really is or be the person he wishes to be, just because I love him.
Doesn’t matter if I don’t always agree or have a strong opinion on certain things, as long as I support him, that’s all that matters.
A while back I used to always make him lunch to bring to work, and always left a sweet note in his lunch, a month ago when we were in USA I found a bunch of these notes in his wallet. When I asked him about why he had them in his wallet, he said that sometimes when he needed a reminder on how much I love him, he could look in his wallet and become warm inside. We agreed that he would trow all of these old notes away because I wanted to make new ones and I plan on keeping that promise.
I can be very inpatient sometimes and in order to be a better wife, I need to work on that.
John also loves soccer and I on the other hand dread it. But I think that I should support him more in his interests and maybe even watch a game with him from time to time, invite his friends over for soccer night, ask him about practice or go see his games more often.
Another thing John really likes is his Job and talking about what he does for a living. Even though I have no interest in lumber, frames, windows, roofs or anything hardware like – I need to become a better listener and try to understand what he is talking about, who knows ? I might learn something.
Me and John have been trying to get pregnant for quite some time now and haven’t really talked about it to anyone else, because we were kind of ashamed and on the other hand afraid that I won’t get hired anywhere because here it’s hard to get a job as a woman even if you are in the right age to have children.
It’s been two years now and nothing has happened, I am on some waiting list to get checked if I even can have children and John can do nothing but hope because we already know that he is fine.
This of course sets its marks on a relationship and we really need to become better at talking about it, even if it means a lot of crying and broken dreams, every time nothing happens. Keeping all of these thoughts to our selves and blaming myself for being the reason to us not having any kid yet only makes things worse.
I mean it is a common problem among loads of people as far as I have understood, so why are we ashamed ?
And the last but not least thing a need to learn is to say I’m Sorry!!!
I have a good husband, in fact I couldn’t wish for better and I have a whole lot to be grateful for. He loves me with all of his heart, treats me like a lady, is forgiving, compliments me, surprises me, helps out around home and supports me in all of my life’s choices. He even helps me with all of my crazy creative ideas, even if he hates drawing,cutting and glueing. He is my man and I am indeed lucky to have found him.
I am pretty sure that there is a lot more I can do in order to become a better wife, but right now these are the goals I will focus on. I can always add more on the list as they come to me.
Although we have been through a lot as a couple, we have still managed to fall madly in love over and over again. If anything is meant to be, for better or for worse I believe that our relationship is. We just have to keep feeding it and making it grow stronger, so that when times get bad we have something to take from.